Never Come Undone
by DrainThisDisease
Summary: Six teenage boys live out the years before adulthood. Featuring: Danisnotonfire. AmazingPhil, KickThePJ, TouchTheSkyFilms & DesAndNate
1. Dan

_Dan_

"_Isn't this place beautiful, Dan._"

My mother happened to be a lot more excited about my new school than I was. The place wasn't exactly my idea of beautiful; it was built in the 1800's, the information pamphlet stated that several times. This is the first time I've ever been to a co-ed school, but this school happened to be fancier than all the other schools combined. The walls were free of vandalism and the entire school looked the budget was spent on upkeeping rather than education.

"I guess," I end up replying. She just smiles and stares at me.

"Come on Daniel. Let's go get you enrolled."

As fancy as the outside was, the inside was a different story. It felt like I had walked from Hogwarts straight into Roundview College. To be honest, I was glad for the inside to be this way. The walls were scattered with graffiti and the outside view was basically free porn. Mum almost instantly regretted her words. She rushed me through the halls, hoping I wasn't aware of the stuff going on outside. But I knew.

After a few minutes of speaking to the lady at reception I was lead into a room along with my mum to a man I suspected was the principal. He welcomed me, gave me a timetable and a sent me off to class. Obviously, he didn't give a shit about me and he just wanted me to go away. Luckily the feeling was mutual.

Although he showed hostility towards me, he was decent enough to get someone to give me a tour around. The boys name was Christian and he didn't even make a noise while we were together. He looked absolutely terrified of me. When he had dropped me off at my classroom I quickly thanked him and he scurried off in the opposite direction.

_Phil_

Bloody hell, I thought. First day of the year and I've already managed to be late. Great job trying to start the year on a positive note. I shoved my hands into the pockets of my hoodie. Now that I was running late, it meant that I didn't have to rush. My timetable had been mailed to me about a week earlier and I was that keen on spending another year with Mr Pier, my English teacher. Plus I knew he would be kind of surprised if I had shown up on time. That's why I decided to be late, to keep his expectations low.

'Hello Mr Lester. I was beginning to think the gods have listened to me and removed you from my class," Mr Pier stops his yearly lecture on class expectations to greet me.

"Sorry. You aren't that lucky."

"Just take a seat Phil," Mr Pier points to the one spare seat left in the room, a seat right at the front beside a boy I had never seen before. I quickly sat down and got myself comfortable. Every year there was always a new kid. I guess this year it was the guy beside me.

"Lester, notes," Mr Pier points to the board, "_now_."

"But sir, I did these last year," I groaned. He just rolls his eyes and continued to write more notes. I rummaged through my backpack for a pen, but I wasn't able to find one. Even though I'm always late to English, I still managed to top the class. That's probably why Mr Pier didn't mind having me in his class, even though he often acted like it was the other way around. Last year, Mr Pier and I formed a bond over my talents and similar interests we had. He was quite young for a teacher, from what I know he's only been out of university for two years.

I remember that I need a pen. I take a quick glance around the room, hoping that PJ or Christian were nearby so I could borrow a pen off them. Neither of them were in the room, let alone nearby.

"You look a bit unorganised," a voice whispered in my ear. I flinched and spun around to see who it was. I turned to be greeted by one of the most attractive people I had ever seen before. He had gorgeous brown eyes, which I was attempting not to get lost in. He could of easily became a model if he wanted to. I tried not to stare at him, but I just couldn't resist. He was perfect.

"Hey, anyone there?" He smirked waving a hand around near my face.

"S-Sorry," I mumbled trying to regain some dignity.

"Anyway, I was just asking if you wanted to borrow a pen." I nodded and he passed me a pen.

"Thanks."

"I'm Dan by the way," He adds before getting back to his work, "Nice to meet you, Phil."

I've never been good at flirting and relationships. Being attractive and alluring was not my natural talent. Mostly because I fell in love with the wrong kind of people. Straight boys. Now, I'm openly gay at school and no-one gives a shit and neither do my parents, but it's something I rather keep secret about me. I just never know who may be upset by it.

There was something about Dan that felt special. I knew we could become friends. I just felt that we were compatible (in more ways than one).

_Dan_

_Phil Lester._

Up until lunch that name rang through my head.

I wasn't sure what was drawing me towards him. The endless icy blue eyes or the confidence that radiated from him. There was something.

By lunchtime, I was a pen short and getting caught off-guard by a boy's name. I also had no-one to sit with during lunch, which well sucked because of how strong lunchtime politics were. After taking a glance around the courtyard for anyone that looked decent (Phil), I took a seat by myself on the grass. I put my earphones in and turned on Origin Of Symmetry, my favourite album. Whenever I was alone I would listen to it. It had became the counteract of my life.

Sitting alone has its perks. There was no-one to interrupt you and you didn't have to put up with that one absolute twat that sat with your group. At my old school I sat by myself. Not by choice, but because everyone else was too scared to. If I didn't bash them, they knew they would probably get bashed by the twats that had something against me. So I wasn't really concerned about being alone. I knew I was able to fend for myself.

Three songs through the album, I felt a tap on the shoulder.

"Hey Dan," Phil said, taking a seat next to me, "Was that Muse you were listening too? It was really loud."

"Yeah," I answered switching off my iPod, "Do you like Muse?"

Phil nodded and pulled out his phone, showing me his wallpaper of Matt Bellamy. I couldn't help but grin. He had a good music taste too.

"Have you eaten yet? Do you even know where the cafeteria is?" Phil asked.

"Yeah I have," I lied. Bullshit, I thought, you're beginning to do it again.

"Oh cool," Phil smiled, "Hey do you want to meet my friends?" I agreed, even though I would of rather been alone with Phil.

_Phil_

"If I was a pokemon, I would not be Zubat, Christian," PJ exclaims, "I would be a Charzard or something."

Christian shakes his head without saying a word.

"Hey guys," I say and both turn to look, "This is my new friend, Dan."

"Hello, Dan. I'm PJ," Peej put his hand out for Dan to shake. Dan reluctantly shook it, "Nice to meet you PJ."

"And this is-" Dan interrupted me, "Christian. We met earlier."

"Oh cool," I mumble and realise that was slowly becoming my catchphrase.

"Guess what Phil? Nate's throwing a 'back to school' party tonight and he wants us to come along," PJ grinned. I smile and nod even though I wasn't really up to parting tonight.

"I'm not sure Peej. I don't think mum would let me go out on a school night," I lied whilst taking a seat. Dan followed suit and sat beside me.

"Bullshit Phil. Your mum wouldn't give a shit. She'll probably even encourage you to take Claire along."

"Mum wouldn't let her fourteen year old daughter go to a party on a school night filled with sex, drugs and alcohol."

"Please Phil," PJ fake pouted, "You can bring Dean along."

"My names Dan not Dean," Dan interjected.

"Just please come with us. Well Christian isn't coming because you know how he hates parties but please come Phil," PJ groaned.

"Okay I'll be there," I gave in.

_Dan_

In my entire schooling career I've been to two parties. One was a Tupperware party my mum threw and the other was my grandma's seventy-fifth birthday party. I wasn't a big social gathering person and there was two reasons for it. My mother and my low self-confidence.

My mother was one other those over-protective, overly involved with their children's school parents. She was the kind of mother who would cover their kid in bubble wrap (hypothetically speaking). And on top of that, she was one of those overly-religious Christians.

In my own opinion, I think religion is absolute bullshit. It's just a large number of people having an imaginary friend, who happens to be a shit friend, changing peoples outlook on life and views on things. My mum's one of the crazy religious freaks who wants to their kids to become priests and nuns and condemns sex before marriage,homosexuality, pokemon and rock music.

My entire all I ever wanted to do was to make my parents proud and by the age of seven, I had given up on that. My dad is the hardest person to impress. I don't I've ever made him proud and each day I felt like he was getting more and more disappointing in me. But like my mother he was a religious asshole.

The pressure that was placed on me by my parents to be perfect had made my self-confidence decline greatly. And that probably contributed into one of my greatest flaws, _anorexia._

The thing was that I was fat. Well the therapist said I was only fat in my mind and that I was mentally making it up. I was fat, ugly and overly flawed. Everything I didn't want to be.

The reason we moved was because of my eating disorder. As soon as mum found out she somehow managed to get dad to move. Mum never told dad that I was anorexic. She wanted to keep it hidden because she was ashamed. Ashamed of herself, ashamed of me.

Still every time I look in the mirror, I worry.

"So Daniel, how was your day?" My mother asked me during dinner.

"Really good," I replied, "I made a friend."

"That's nice. What's his name?" My dad asked, suddenly joining the conversation.

"His name is Phil."

"He sounds like a lovely boy, Daniel," Mum smiled.

"Any attractive girls, Daniel?"

"I'm not sure dad. I-I wasn't really paying much attention," That was the truth.

"Whatever you say son,"he chuckled.

I looked down at my plate which hadn't been touched. Mum hadn't noticed yet but I knew if she saw she would force feed me. I quickly shoved some food in my mouth, not paying attention to whatever it was. It tasted horrible, but everything these days did. I ate it anyway.

I didn't eat much. I wasn't in the right mindset for food. My mind just would stop thinking about the party and Phil. I didn't know whether to ask mums permission or sneak out or stay home and cry. Sub-consciously I knew I would end up sneaking out, which would be a new experience for me. I don't leave home, let alone sneak out of the house rebelliously to go to a drug-fueled with a boy I just met. If I had asked mum, I knew she would instantly turn the idea down.

I probably should of stayed at home.

Since I've never been to a party, I had no idea what to wear. From my vast knowledge of teen dramas, you don't wear a suit or shorts. I had neither, so I was already half-way there. I picked out a pair of black skinny jeans and pulled them on. It was a good start.

I ended up choosing my cat shirt instinctively. It was my favourite shirt and it wasn't too dressy. By the time I was finished getting dressed, I had received a text from Phil. He had told me that he would text me once he was ready.

_Hey, I'm ready. Do u want PJ to pick u up? :) - Phil _

I quickly replied:

_Yeah, if its okay with him. - Dan_

I had a quick look at the time. The party started at eight-thirty and it was only eight. From what I knew, the party was organized by PJ's friend Nate, who's dad worked with PJ's dad. According to Phil, Nate's parents brought him a house for his sixteenth birthday which he lives in with Destery, his best friend. Apparently, they threw parties often. I checked my phone again.

_What ur address? We'll be there in five :) - Phil_

Skins made sneaking out of a house without getting caught look easy. I knew it would pretty impossible to get out from my room, since my room was the second floor, right on the fence. The best way, I figured, was to sneak out from the bathroom downstairs. Mum never locked that window and it looked big enough to get out and in from.

I made my way downstairs and into the bathroom. The bathroom didn't get used because there was a larger bathroom upstairs and all of our rooms had en-suites. I locked the door and lifted up the window. I easily maneuvered my body through the window and kept it open, so I could get back in later. I creeped around the side of the house and made it to the front just as PJ and Phil pulled up.

_Phil_

He was the most gorgeous human being on the planet.

His eyes, his face, his hair, his collarbones, his body, his voice, his music taste, his ass.

_He was perfection._

And for some reason, within twelve hours of meeting him, he decided to come to a party with me.

"Hey," Dan chimed as he entered the car. I just sat there grinning, my heart pounding.

"Hello," PJ replied, focusing on the road.

"Hi Dan," I said calmly, even though mentally I was freaking out. The car was silent for a while. I didn't want to say anything case I said something stupid and PJ was focused on the road and Dan was probably a bit shy. Soon enough we parked outside of Nate's house, a place where me and PJ have been many times before. Peej always got invited to these kinds of things and since Christian didn't do social situations, he always dragged me along. Somewhere during the night, PJ would leave me by myself so he could go do drugs or something along those lines.

_Dan_

There was loud music and alcohol and drugs and half-naked girls and we hadn't yet entered the house. I felt like I was reasonably prepared for this. PJ had left me and Phil as soon as we left the car.

"So what do we do?" I timidly asked. Phil raised an eyebrow, "Have you ever been to a party before?"

"Not exactly," I lied.

"Well, let's start by getting you a drink," Phil suggested, heading into the house where it seemed to be it was getting louder and more crowded. Phil grabbed my wrist and dragged me into the depths of the house.

"Destrey lets me raid the fridge at parties," Phil says loudly as we entered the kitchen, which was empty. He opens the fridge and pulls out two bottles.

"Beer? Or do you want something different?"

"No, beer will do just fine, thanks," I smiled and took a bottle from Phil.

Some shit dance song blared through my ears. Usually I would despise this crap, but I think the alcohol was taking its effect. Right now, everything was good.

Phil lent on the wall beside me. In the time frame of a few drinks, we had basically learnt everything about each other. He told me about his family and life. I told him everything about me, with the exception of my eating disorder and a few other small insignificant details. I didn't feel what drunk sounded like. I had drunk five or six beers and me and Phil did two rounds of shots.

"Come and dance with me, Dan," Phil slurred.

"Okay Philly," I grabbed his hand and we headed towards the middle of the room. Phil stumbled and the room was blurry but other than that we were okay.

I couldn't dance while I was sober, so I was sure I couldn't dance whilst drunk. As me and Phil attempted to dance, I would stand on his foot or Phil would trip. I didn't care I was having fun.

"Hey Dan," Phil yelled, just so I could hear, into my ear.

"Yeah."

"I'm gay," Phil slurred falling into my arms.

"Awesome," I drunkly replied, helping him up onto his feet.

"Do you care?"

"Not at all," I smirked. My mind was too intoxicated for general logic. But even in my drunken state, I still kind of liked Phil in a way I wasn't sure of. The fact that drunken Phil liked men was good for drunken me. Whether average Phil did was another story.

I hadn't realized but the party had died down quite a lot. There still was heaps of people here though. It gave Phil and I more room to make fools of ourselves.

"You're a swell dancer Daniel," Phil giggled.

"I'm almost as good as you."

"I don't think so," Phil poked me on the nose and continued to giggle.

I pouted, "Ouch."

"Want Philly to kiss it all better?" He joked, still giggling.

"Yes," I joked again. Phil lent in and planted a kiss on my nose. He moved his face back but only by inches.

"All better?" He smirked. I either had butterflies in my stomach or too much alcohol. Phil's icy blue eyes were just centimeters away from me, our noses almost touching. Suddenly, Phil moves in even closer and so do I. He kisses me on the lips first and I don't resist. It's the alcohol talking (probably). All I can taste is beer but I'm not sure if its from my mouth or Phil's. Slowly, I bring myself back to reality and realization about what I've done.

_Fuck._


	2. Christian

**Chapter 2 – Christian**

_Christian_

Every since we were little, it's always been the three of us: Phil, PJ and myself. Somehow we all just clicked, despite our obvious differences. PJ liked to think of it as he was the voice, Phil was the soul and I was the heart. Sometimes I begged to differ, but it was the most accurate representation of us. I'd always been someting easy to replace.

I'd never been one to put myself out there. I was a closed book, one with the pages glued together and kept under lock and key. Sometimes I didn't know what was inside. The only person that always knew what was inside was my mother. I loved her more than anything. She worked extra hard for us to be where we are. If I was the heart, she was the blood.

My mother was the only person I could completely trust. Phil and PJ just couldn't reach the mark left by my mother. Although other than my mother, I would class my only friends as Phil and PJ. I wasn't a big fan of friendships and the main cause of this was major trust issues I had developed from my father. If I was the heart and mum was the blood, he was the cancer, eating mum away.

When I was about seven, my parents filed for divorce. Actually, mum filed for divorce so she didn't have to put up with my asswipe of a father. He wasn't abusive towards us, but he was just mean and he was barely around. Dad always told mum he was on 'business trips' when they were together, and mum, not knowing any better, believed him.

There sure was a lot of 'business trips', which mum later learnt were affairs with various women. I think deep down she knew what was going on but she didn't want to admit it. She found out by one of his ex-mistresses or someone along those lines. As soon as mum found out I was sent to Grandma's for a few weeks. As soon as I came home, mum explained to me what was going on.

The thing about dad was that he may of been the biggest ass in the world, but he had money. _Lots of money_. And he knew how the use the money wisely. The years of being a financial lawyer had finally paid off. He was money smart and he had top class lawyer friends. so from the start he had the upper hand. Mum told me that she didn't care about the money, as long as she got full custody of me. But dad had other plans.

For some reason, even though dad hurt mum in the first place, he wanted to hurt her more. By that I mean he wanted to take the thing she needed most; _me_. Instead of letting her have full custody of me and be flat broke, he wanted me and he was willing to give mum the money. Even though she clearly stated that she wanted me instead of the cash. But dad had the better lawyers and managed to give him what he wanted. Somehow they convinced the court that mum was a bad parent and it was unsafe living with her. I, being seven years old at the time, didn't get a say on which parent I rather stay with. If any parent was unsafe, it was dad.

Until I was about twelve, I unwillingly lived with dad full time, leaving me to see mum only on the holidays, Christmas and my birthday if I was lucky. I hated living with dad. He wouldn't spend anytime with me or even acknowledge that I was there. He made us move away from mum, which meant leaving my friends. That didn't last long though, his girlfriend at the time, Ricki, told him that it was child abuse keeping me away from my only friends and he soon re-enrolled me back at my old school. By the time I was twelve I had a plan on how to get away from dad. I had to run away.

"Hey Christian," PJ moaned from inside his car. Even though it wasn't hot nor bright outside, he was wearing a pair of black sunglasses.

"You're hung-over," I squeak and he takes off the shades.

"Is it that obvious?" He replies sarcastically as he starts up his car. PJ's sunglasses looked out of place with his thick sweater and skinny jeans. He reminded me of that try-hard teacher who was forty but dress like he was sixteen.

PJ turned onto the main road towards Phil's house, which was only down the road a little. I wondered if PJ should be driving whilst hung-over but he seemed quite capable of doing so. As we pulled up in front of Phil's house, Phil was waiting on the curb, even more messed up than PJ was. The black haired boy dragged himself into the backseat of the car.

"Well you looked fucked," PJ noted as he began to drive off.

"And good morning to you to, PJ," Phil sarcastically groaned back. It looked like Phil had just woken up.

"I heard from Nate that you were getting _very close _to the new guy, Phillip. His names Dan, isn't it?" PJ poked his head from around the seat and smirked.

"Shut the fuck up, Peej," Phil sat up properly and suddenly seemed more alert.

"Well, Des said you two were getting it on and people were recording it or something. Just warning you in case stuff is going around. I'm sure this isn't the first time this _thing _has happened with you."

"I really don't care what rumours are going around about me. But thanks for being so enthusiastic about my sex life," Phil rolled his eyes. I glared at Phil, "Not again."

_Phil_

As soon as the car pulled up at school, I escaped as quickly as possible. As much as I loved Christian and PJ, they did get quiet invasive towards me at times. I know it's just because they are concerned something will happen again like last time, but I've re-assured them numerous times that it would never happen again. What happened last night was nice, but the way Dan reacted told me that it would only be a one off thing. Well, that's how I took it when Dan ran off through the crowd. As I walked through the gates of the school, Dan glared at me, leaning against a tree. He has the we-need-to-talk look on his face. I knew I couldn't avoid this conversation, no matter what. I sped up in an attempt not to be seen, but the brunette boy was already approaching me.

"I'm not gay," Dan began, "well I think I'm not gay. I can't be gay. And last night was a mistake. I went to a party on my first day of school, for gods sake, and I got drunk and we kissed. And I like you, I admit. But I can't be gay."

"Alright," I mused, "I like you, Dan, but hey, you're _not _gay."

Dan rubbed the back of his neck, even when he was nervous he was fucking adorable, "Are we still friends?"

"Of course," I smiled.

_Christian_

After enduring a double period of ancient history, I was excited for lunch. My hand was numb from writing over three pages of notes on ancient Greece. I headed towards to where I'd usually meet PJ and Phil for lunch; an old picnic table, under an oak tree. Phil was already seated, tapping away on the screen of his phone.

"Hey," he glanced up from his phone.

"I saw you speaking with Dan this morning. Was it about last night?" I asked. Phil just sighed, "I've known him one day and I've already fallen in love with him."

"Bit of an exaggeration," I replied before adding, "so what did he say?"

"He insists he isn't gay, but I think he likes me," Phil tosses his phone to the side, "I don't know. I like him."

"The same way you liked Jake?" I mentioned. Phil shrugged, "That relationship was fucked up from the beginning and you know it. But yes, the same way I liked him."

Before I could speak, the phone in my pocket began vibrating. I quickly grabbed it, reading the name on the screen.

_Dad._

I thought about ignoring it, but I doubt he would ring unless it was important.

"Sorry Phil. I need to take this," I mumbled before answering the phone.

"Hello," I murmured into the speaker.

"Christian, your mother has been rushed to hospital, I'm coming to pick you up now."

"_Shit_."

"She's got a brain tumor. Glioblastoma multiform. The deadliest and most common form, unfortunately. She had a seizure at work and they rushed her here as she's never had epilepsy or anything similar. We could do surgery to remove it, but it seems to have spread. Chemotherapy is an option but it seems too advanced for it to work," the doctor explained, "We give her between four and twelve months."

"Four months?" My dad raised his eyebrows.

"Yes. The tumor has seemed to have spread into the lungs. It's fatal now," The doctor frowned sympathetically, "there is not much we can do."

"What do you fucking mean there's not much you can do? Can't you give her radiation? Chemo?" I growled. My fists were clenched by my sides, "Can't you cut the fucking tumor out?"

"As I mentioned before, it's far too advanced now."

"So you're saying we just sit here and watch her die," I could feel tears welling up in my eyes, "because I don't think I could handle losing her."

"Christian, it'll be alright. C'mon, let's take you home," Dad goes to wrap an arm around my shoulder but I push him away, "Fuck off. I'm staying here."

"Christian, go home with your dad. Your mum has scans to get done. You won't be able to see her until tomorrow anyway," the doctor gave me a small smile that made me want to punch him. He was treating me like a small child.

"Fuck you."

**A/N: Okay so I finally updated this after 6 months, which I promise won't happen again. This was going to be updated ages ago but I got a new laptop because my computer crashed and then I lost all files and then I had finished writing this and my laptop broke but luckily I had this backed up on my phone, so this is the result of six months of technical difficulties. Thanks for being patient and not killing me.**


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